Wanting you in my life, for no particular reason other than Love, was pure ~ holy ~ “right”.
There was nothing wrong with me for having that desire. There was nothing wrong with me for trying to breathe Love, breathe unity, wholeness, fusion, Life itself back into a broken & traumatized human’s existence.
As if somehow, because I had Love & was abused for it, that means something is wrong with me.
As if somehow, because I tried to touch the deepest wounds within you with the hand of Compassion, I was the one needing to change.
As if somehow, because I was being preyed upon, siphoned off of and projected upon, I was the weak one.
In being afraid of the trauma scenario repeating, it has attempted to cut me off from wanting to express my Love… Fearing my flame being smothered with hatred yet again… That fear coming from the belief you instilled that what you did to me was my fault. As if I shouldn’t trust my Love when I feel the expansive pull to dance in it.
No. My Love is my strength. Completely and unconditionally.
I am Love.
No one holds the power to take me away from me. No one holds the power to kill me – because even when you kill me, I am not dead. Love cannot die. Love is the very Life force of all of Creation.
No matter how much waste you dumped inside my oceans, no matter how much poison you’ve injected into my heart, no matter how much blood you’ve sucked from my veins, no matter how much marrow you’ve drained from my bones, no matter how many of my forests you’ve bulldozed, I am never dead — I always regrow, I always rebirth — no matter how barren or deserted I have appeared to be on the surface, Life/Love still flows underneath; the roots go deeper than my very core ~ places you could never reach no matter how hard you mine for my jewels to exploit, no matter how long or deep you think you’ve drilled into my soils.
I am here, and I am alive.
My Love is my strength… Stronger & deeper than your hatred. You cannot beat me, you cannot penetrate me, you cannot steal my essence, you cannot destroy me.
There was absolutely no weakness, no woundedness, no “naivety”, no wrongness or badness in loving.
That was all you.
Love & fusion isn’t the problem. Hatred & separation is.
I’m not the problem, you are.
I will Love my way through.
Love is the antidote.
The antidote to your sickness, but just as a rabid creature refuses to drink the water, you rejected the cure that I offered unconditionally, and for free.
Yet this was all my fault?
Yet I just brought this all onto myself?
…let me stop here.
Love is the antidote.
Bring on the storms.